He loves me, he loves me not...

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:36:01 +0100

Is he interested or is he having fun? We've been dating for 6 weeks. Love is a stong word and only used for illustration here but how can I tell if he's into me or just enjoying a good thing for a while and not considering a future?

He loves me, he loves me not.... Let the facts speak, but which speak the loudest?

LOVES ME: He is happy to meet me every weekend, spend a days/nights together and not date anyone else
LOVES ME NOT: He doesn't ask questions about me or seem interested in trying to find out about me
LOVES ME: He is very physically attracted to me (has told me) and we laugh all the time. I know he enjoys my company.
LOVES ME NOT: He doesn't compliment me
LOVES ME: He genuinely wants to help/advise me when I ask his opinion
LOVES ME NOT: He has told me he is a afraid of commitment and I know he doesn't currently consider me his girlfriend

Am I overreacting? Should I just be honest and talk to him or will that scare him off?

Comments

How can I tell there is a future?

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 21:23:12 +0100

OK, so I'm old enough to know better and I'm often the "go to girl" that my friends turn to for honest, good advice. Then why can't I advise myself and cure myself of this horrible confusion? I am failing myself - the worst failure there is.

I am known as a strong, independent and happy person. In fact, my personal slogan is "you create your own happiness" yet here I find myself in a terrifying and alien situation where my current happiness seems to hinge more and more on the new man in my life and on how HE feels about me. When did I become so weak and vulnerable?

We have been "seeing" each other for less than 2 months and yet I feel that he could be 'THE ONE' (a terrifying thought in itself) which should make me excited and happy - and it does - but the happiness is becoming engulfed in the sadness of losing him because I feel he doesn't feel the same about me. At all.

I know he "likes" me because we meet every weekend, have a great time together, I make him laugh and he is definitely physically attracted to me but he is not giving me any signs of wanting an 'us' or a future. Am I being unreasonable? I don't want to ask him straight out because I feel it’s too soon but I just can't read him and it's killing me. We talk a lot and I feel I've got to know him quite a bit but he doesn’t ask me questions and doesn't seem very interested in finding out about me. I wonder if he’s like that with everyone or if, as they said on Sex and the City - "he’s just not that into you"

Thing is, I'm used to being on the other side of the fence and being the one who is chased - not the one who gets hurt. I need to find out if he feels we could ever be a couple (at some stage in the near future).I think its all a bit new now so I want to take it slow but I need to know if it is a possibility for us or if he absolutely doesn’t want that because if I need to walk away I need to do it asap - the thought of it physically hurts in my stomach so I need to know. I hate being seen as an emotional girly girl but the thought of him not wanting me as a partner really really hurts... I'm not used to this. I'm not used to such strong emotions.

Is it possible that I could be falling in love with this guy? After such a short period? I feel like my mind will explode if I can't get some inkling fro him about how he feels but how can I do that without actually asking outright? Anyone?

Comments

How do I KNOW he wants a girlfriend?

He loves me, he loves me not...

How can I tell there is a future?